Getting Stronger

I have been home 10 days and it has been wonderful.   I feel that I turned a corner this weekend and have more strength and better appetite.   I have spent less time on the couch or bed during the course of each hour and love to be up and doing things.  Although, my body will let me know when it's time to hit the couch and rest.  I'm respecting that and I am not over doing in any sense.  My days are pretty lazy.  But if I can get the dishwasher loaded and unloaded and the laundry done, I am happy.  I can even read now as my vision is not blurry like it was in the hospital.  (The chemo does weird things.)  
     I hope to even start making some trips to the grocery store soon.   I can do this without a mask on as long as it's not peak time and I don't detect any sick people around. (It means keep a distance from people)   I would love to be able to even drive a little.  Maybe next week.  I'm not on any medications now that make me drowsy.  I just need a little more strength. I'm even going to start walking around the neighborhood for short periods.  
      I'm grateful for the help the neighbors and ward are giving me with meals 3X a week.   I've been able to eat more and it tastes all so good.   I really hate to be the center of attention, but so grateful for all the help we have received.   I am learning how to accept help and I am so grateful for every effort in my behalf.  
     We got word yesterday that I will start the next round in about 2 1/2 weeks.  It will start with chemo, and it looks like it will be outpatient.   I'm so glad for that.  The chemo isn't as potent as the last go around, so it will be nice to be home.   And then I will go to the hospital for another lengthy-probably longer than the last stay.
      Thank-you again for all your support and love.  We couldn't do this alone.
Love,
Kathy

Home Sweet Home

Hi All,
    I thought I'd write a little something as I am so GRATEFUL to be home.  I have been home 5 days, and although I'm very weak, I was able to do a little more today and feel that I will turn a corner.  
I had a good check up on Tuesday and go in tomorrow again.  Keep fingers crossed that they can take out this central line that is in my chest.  
     I want to thank all of you for your notes, emails, prayers, fasting and positive thoughts, etc.  as you have thought about me.   I have felt the power of all of those things and it has pulled me through.  I wish I could respond to every note, email, etc. but literally do not have the strength to do it.( Forgive me for not doing thank-you notes)   I hope you know how much it means to me to have your support. In the hospital the notes of encouragement kept me from going to the 'dark' side.  Thank-you. And I have loved all that I have received this week.  I'm keeping everything and have reread everything numerous times.     I  am deeply humbled by the number of friends and family who care about me.    I have a lot to live for!
     I also need to give credit to Doug and Katie and my sisters for doing so many things for me physically and emotionally and spiritually.   What would I do without them?    Since my two boys live out of state and would do the same, they are well represented.   I was lucky that my oldest came out last weekend and was here for my homecoming.  We talked, and cried together.  It was great to have him here.  And my youngest is coming this weekend.  I cannot tell you what it has meant to me for them to come out.  
    Doug is so protective of everything i do.  It is wonderful to have him as a companion.   I think you would all be impressed with how he's been able take over all the 'tasks' that I used to do and do them better than I ever did!
    Katie is a gem.   I even love to read what she writes because she expresses how I feel so well.   She has sacrificed so much to be with me and grateful to Chris as well, for allowing her service to me.  
     I am so grateful to be at this point in my treatment.   I love being in my home.  It is a refuge and I love everything that surrounds us.
   I'm not thinking too far ahead, but just want to get stronger before the next go around.
Thank-you for all the love you are sending our way.  Doug and I are overwhelmed with the outpouring and concern.
Love,
Kathy

Oozing Gratitude

It's been, really, a magnificent week. We know in the next few months and even years perhaps, that magnificent and miserable will be frequent and interchangeable companions but we will magnify the good because God has been gracious and aware. 

First things first. Kathy was released (is there a better, more civil word to use here?) from the hospital yesterday afternoon. Being free from the behemoth IV/antibiotics/anti- pain pole and freedom to sleep without interruptions from those dear CNA's for temperature and blood pressure reads (they are being obedient to their job duties, after all) has been liberating for my mom. Freedom! The hope  is that she can have a solid 4 weeks respite in her Salt Lake sanctuary before entering the battle again for Bone Marrow Transplant numero dos. I'd like to quickly hasten here, that although we know visits are wished upon with good intentions, that you still yet refrain from making any until further notice. It requires a tremendous amount of energy for her to visit and adds some concern and worry about unwanted germs and exposure to who-knows-what. These next few weeks is a time for healing, for peace, for solitude, and for refuge, so we thank you for your patience in respecting this and respecting these precious days of restoration. 

Second, and I make mention of this because it is really a marvelous manifestation of a dual reality, that being that miracles/blessings/tender mercies (call them what you will) not only exist but are divinely mandated, and thus, that God- our Heavenly Father- LIVES. Lives, lives, lives; is aware, is involved, is so very much apart of our circumstances. 

A couple of months ago during a medical consultation, the nurse coordinator for Kathy's BMT doctor informed us that Kathy did not have a 10/10 match in one of her eligible siblings (not to their fault whatsoever). Because of some unusual markers in her blood numbers, finding a donor in time, we were told, was next to impossible. Hence, in the last while we have been fully anticipating a green light for a newer, more contemporary procedure known as a haplo-identical where a half-match can be used. Well, during this last week, the nurse coordinator walked into my mom's room, grinning from ear to ear with the news that she felt like she needed to exhaust some more research for a 10/10 match, and that very morning, located that match somewhere outside of the US (we are assuming it's someone from Europe- perhaps England or Scandinavia?). If this registered person will agree to undergo the donor-procedure then this is the preferable route by Kathy's doctors because long-term data and results are more mature than newer Haplo transplant data can provide. Anyways, very miraculous; in a pool of millions of registered donors, a single person across the world was found in an extremely time-sensitive matter. Hello to heaven's opened door. 

Third. Again, exciting that she is home. We continue to pray for her body, that it does what it needs to, that she can regain strength, immunity, and the emotional vitality to continue to endure, which she's been doing so well already. We pray that her platelets will grow on their own, that her cells will do what they're supposed to, et cetera. Please be aware that she is on a very strict, low-microbial diet (google it) and in addition, should really be distanced as well from anything that carries/transports fungus, molds, dirt, and so forth (yes, that includes flowers and plants). 

Thank you, thank you, thank you for you. For your love, your good and POSITIVE advice (we say thumbs up to optimism and BOO to negativity), your prayers, your support, your thoughts, and your friendships. 

Little Miracles

We are only a few days into this new week and it feels already like a happier week.  

Last Wednesday, the 3rd, was Kathy's original/initial release-from-the-hospital date, though as you can imagine, many patients in her situation are obliged to stay beyond that because of major/minor setbacks that keep them there. But we are feeling uber grateful today, that as of this afternoon, her fevers haven't spiked or really made any progression, and that her appetite today has increased. Her lagging platelets have been a major issue as well, and today for the first time in weeks, her platelets hit 50 which was a big deal. Our prayers remain fervent and repeatedly often that they can stick at that number and then grow from that. We need her to reach a point so that her body can gear up for bone marrow transplant #2 in August.***

I was personally excited to walk into her hospital room on Sunday to find her watching some British masterpiece series. Last week, there was not a drop of energy to even THINK about watching TV so this was a happy little moment. She has also felt a little more up to emailing, texting, and even reading. 

Kathy is one solid rock-star; she continually, despite the horrific pains and discomforts of post-transplant and post-chemo procedures, along with the not-so-posh culture of hospital room life,  manages to always inquire about other people, how grandchildren are doing, and so forth. Always the thoughtful grandmother, she sends me home with treats from her treat drawer for my two older boys, Henry and Finn. She misses all of her grandchildren dearly though. 

Little miracles can lead to great wonders. Our hope is bright and she is doing more than just, "hanging in there". 

 

***Also, because Kathy's siblings were not 10/10 matches, and because searching for one out of the grand international bone marrow donor registry takes too much time, which time we don't have, we, along with the BMT medical staff, feel peace about proceeding with a newer, more contemporary procedure known as a Haplo-identical.  You are welcome to google search it, as at this very moment I am experiencing some severe mommy brain and don't quite know how to best explain it in writing, though it all makes sense in my head. You understand, right? :)As it gets closer, we will explain it in more detail.

No Walk in the Park

Well, July 3rd came and went with no discharge from the hospital as originally hoped for, though it's recognized how relieved we are that the hospital doesn't simply send home patients when things aren't completely in place. This week, unfortunately, has seen some complications/annoyances arise, i.e., a chest cough, continued nausea, and low-grade fevers. Until these things subside, or until we find out why these are happening, Kathy will continue to stay in the hospital. Physically, a good choice, mentally, a bit harder to cope with. 

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I come to you cyberally (new word for you, Webster!)/ electronically, to ask you for prayers this weekend, and even through Sunday as fasts commence. We need these complications to settle down in order for Kathy to be discharged, but we also need her body to have a break from these things before the next chemo/ bone marrow procedure begins, which, the Dr. has told us must happen within 4 weeks, so as to not give the cancer an opportunity to grow back. We are working against time, and time against us, thus, it's a very critical and crucial moment in Kathy's healing. Therefore, I do meekly plead for a heightened collaboration of prayers from you on her behalf and I profoundly thank you in advance for your love and support in this. 

Many have inquired how they can help and what they can do. It cannot be emphasized enough that prayers and faith really do go a very long way and in our eyes, are a mighty service of good. Additionally during this time while she's in the hospital, I know that really positive, and encouraging notes/letters are great to receive. 

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I want to be candid with you in saying that this experience my mom and Doug are going through is no peachy, spring walk through a park. It is unspeakably difficult, teeming with uncertainty, and indescribably painful both physically and emotionally and I  believe that alone must speak volumes about how our Heavenly Father sees my mom and the intense level of "refining fire" she is strong enough to withstand because this is intense. Nevertheless, she is doing it, and she is doing it with grace and love and compassion.